A couple of days back i read about J.Lo’s book. The thing that caught my attention the most was her description of an anxiety attack that she had.
Before i read it, i always thought that only i had those sort of painful moments. But i could relate to hers. Every single word she wrote was so true.
I’ve always been scared to tell people how much it hurt, scared that they’d judge me. Scared that they’d be disappointed… Even after hearing me say all of it
Anxiety is the worst feeling. And most of the time it comes when you need just a little bit of peace of mind. When it happens to me i always feel like ripping my heart out . Just something to stop the pain. Everytime i feel like i’m falling and i need more air and i want to cry all that pain away but no tear comes out and all i want is the peace that i’ve known at some point in time, all i want is to be calm. But i can’t. Coz my heart is racing and my arms and body shake. My chest feels so heavy on my body and my legs are too weak to hold me up. And i feel terrified and everything’s just bad. It really is the worst feeling.
And to think that there’s always someone ready to make you feel that way. And i keep praying i can run away but there’s no place to run to. So most times when i’m alone i hold my legs to my chest and just rock myself until i get over it. But it’s only for a short while. And i still don’t know what to do. I still don’t know what i’ve done to deserve it. Or if i’ve brought it upon myself.

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